Magazine Posts

The grieving process for Dementia
and Alzheimer Disease, can stretch
out for years, thus the title of many,
The Long Goodbye.

Now over 10 years of a slow decline,
of a once beautiful, intelligent, person,
who, as some say, "I was lucky to have
her as long as I did. 66+ years.
But it still hurts!

Here I sit, in this morass,
of emotional baggage.
The twist and turns, in this
new life are overpowering me.

Forced into decisions, I don't want.
Playing with my head,
when what was real,
is now certainly dead.

I find myself withdrawing,
from a good life.
I still see family but find
the closeness, starting to wane.
He's the old guy, who is becoming
more work than I need.

I am still polite but do not,
have discussions with
people about changes to the way
I was. Color me pitiful and sad,
as I drag my blanket.

When life was casual,
with nothing else to do,
but move alone being
a friend to you.

I was reminded,
by a good friend,
to get out and about,
if I wanted my sadness to end.

Here is an observation of yesterday,
at the Crossroad Mall, in Bellevue.
I noticed several older men, flying solo,
with a faraway look in their eyes.

Alone? Lonely? Why? Looking for companionship,
may be the reason. Few of use want to be alone,
or not have someone to talk to.
I've noticed, for me that it's a bigger issue than
I had thought it was.

I made an escape from the Senior Living facility,
where I reside. I like it there but it's like family,
and the last place I want to be to seek companionship,
is there. Not because of the people but due to the
close proximity of a place, where this little privacy.
Everyone knows what everyone is doing. Not for me,
although I do have many friends there who I love
like siblings. Thank you for reading this short ditty
of life at a late age in life.

I loved my wife
more than words could say.
For 66 years
I love her every single day.

There was a time
when the following words,
were a reality. Unfortunately,
they're no longer there.

When memories fail, to deliver,
at an emotional time.
When all the voices, in the World,
aren't able to realign.

It doesn't matter,
what you may have done.
I'll always remember you.

A remembrance of
a cold morning, as
I attempted to catch
a Steelhead. Please enjoy.

Reflections, in my mind,
of a time long ago,
when our love,
was the only show.

What happens next,
in this journey of life.
My emotions are mixed,
after losing my wife.

My questions are many,
the answers are few.
So once again my question,
is what do I do?

Get away from this dwelling,
where I've sheltered in place.
Go out to other venues,
where I may meet another face.

If you sit in your room,
and fail to mix,
your next journey,
could be the "Deep Six."

There were a few times,
in this short life of ours,
where we would find a connection,
with others, or kindred Souls.

Kindred Souls or Spirits exist,
but we, as humans, don't always
recognize it. You may meet someone,
for the first time and it seems like
you have known them forever.

They are like family. I have had those
feelings. I'm having them now.
No, I'm not talking about living at
another time. Just relating a feeling
of closeness to someone I don't know.

Unreasonable? I suppose but how do
you explain this automatic link of two
mortals? I can't and I won't dwell upon
it. I believe it's more important to
develop a stronger relationship.

Is it a Deep Love or is it the Kindred Spirit.
I believe it's both. What do you think?