Magazine Posts

Excuse my ma'am,
I said to she,
but when she turned
she was a he.

I grasp the pen
within my hand.
My wrists complain
with pain.
It now appears
that arthritis
is back again.

Are you a Snail?
Why, yes I am.
Can you deliver mail?
I suppose I can.
"Why do you ask?"
Sayeth he,
"For I am slow,
Unlike thee."
I am not a Frog
Who awaits your kiss,
I am just a Snail
That will deliver the mail.

The joy, the fear, my heart is singing
for in awhile my doorbell will be ringing.
When the young child, I will soon meet
talks to me with words of "Trick or Treat?"

I am a hairless Bear,
that is very easy to see.
If you would come over
and visit with me.

I have no hair,
but have many colors,
as you soon will soon see,
visiting my sisters and brothers.

Some say I'm sweet,
others say I'm sour.
You make your choice.
It takes less than an hour.

I expect you may know
when you sample my fare,
as you hopefully, now see
I am just a Gummy Bear.

I have a gruff exterior
but inside I am not,
for I can be a tender person,
if that is what you sought.

Out in our garage to put something away
When I tried a new dance move,
A slight trip and to my dismay,
Did a pirouette, grabbed at a chair,
Not as good as old Fred Astaire.
My balance, now lost, I let out a roar
As I did a stumbling move
That's when I fell to the floor.
No one saw or heard my yell.
My hands hit the floor first,
The pain I felt could have been worse.
No broken bones; so lucky was I.
My advice to you, is not to do
My dance moves; Don't even try.

Remembering the lost day of our youth,
when you tried to look the most couth.
At a dance; you boldly approached a girl
and asked with a somewhat shaky voice,
saying, "Would you please like to dance?'
As the answer of "No" suddenly came,
you returned to your friends,
shot down in flames.

Out at Sea, hot and humid;
a great pleasure, my mind did invoke,
was seeing the red machine on the dock
full of bottles of ice cold Coke.
Chugging it down, that was so nice,
especially at 25 cents, that was the price.

When Jack Frost nips your nose
and works his way to your toes,
it's time to put on more clothes.

WebMD recently updated their servers because of a virus. Well, they think it was a virus, but it also could have been kidney failure, a heart murmur, athletes foot, pregnancy, or an allergic reaction to bees.

Therapist: Anyways...
Me: "Anyways" isn’t a word, it’s "anyway".
Therapist: ANYWAY, we were discussing your difficulty with making friends...