Magazine Posts

An uncharted flaw,
of an ego in need,
to humble itself,
with a mental feed.

Is it too early,
or too late to do?
I believe the decision,
rests solely on you.

An emotional ride,
elation to bust.
Why must I hide,
emotions I trust.

I am a man,
who falls in love,
at the merest affection,
or attraction, above.

I'm not a child,
but a grown man,
with many emotions,
hard to understand.

Is it wrong,
to still love someone,
when you find
another one?

One more loss,
with little gain.
Return to sadness,
hard to explain.

To gain a friend,
who goes away,
is more complex,
than another day.

Time flies at this time.
More than normal,
which in of itself is
casual not formal.

It's over,
it's done.
I'll move along,
I'm toast. I'm one.

Let me be.
Leave me alone.
If I need you,
I will phone.

There is a Vortex,
in my head.
Swirling thoughts,
trying to imbed,

into the chambers
of my mind.
Good or bad thoughts,
might I find,

If I search here
or there,
finding thoughts.
Hope I care.

Red were the roses,
she used to sell.
White was the color,
she wore so well.

Brown was the color,
of crypt, profound.
Green was the color,
of the grass covered ground.

Blue was the color,
of her beautiful eyes.
Black will be the color,
when she dies.

I haven't the right to love you,
I know that feeling is true.
The difference in age is greater,
than anything. I should do.

It would be best to breakaway,
running away from you.
To be with you would be wonderful,
but not at all be fair for you.

I was sitting at the end of the bar, in a seedy tavern,
drinking a long neck, Budweiser. A bottle shape which
in my mind encourages sipping. The name of the tavern
escapes me but it was formerly, The Looking Glass, located
on 45th Ave, west of the UW campus, across I 5.
My father once owned this with his partner and I would come
here on Sunday mornings, after church. He cleaned the place,
while I sat at the bar, eating a pickled Polish Sausage and drinking
a Coke. A treat for me, at the time.
This was after WWII and the placed was usually full of discharged
servicemen who enjoyed the partying. But I digress.

As I was sitting on the stool, contemplating what my life might be,
as I soothed my physce while sucking on my bottle of Bud. A recent
event in my life had me sitting in sorrow. A tragic event which I needed
to deal with. There was music playing, when I noticed a younger lady sitting
next to me. She said, "Would you like to dance? I glanced at her, saw a lovely
face with a beautiful smile. I replied to her, "I haven't danced any many years
or a long while." I looked at her, seeing a small tear, in the corner of her eye.
She said, "I'm lonely. I lost my best friend and husband recently and the reality
is I'm trying to breakaway from this sadness I am mired in."

I realized, at that moment, I was also looking to escape from my sadness but still
trying to maintain our memories my late wife and I had shared. We talked for a while,
and agreed we would become friends and see each other, in the near future, as we moved
from this sad state of affairs. It dawned on me at that moment, that the World we live in,
has much sadness. Most of the sadness of others we were not aware of.
(to be continued)

We as humans, should not just look at our own plight,
but respect the concerns of others, as we continue on
with our fight for a life, in this new way of living.

Nothing has changed, for either of us, in this short time. I
developed a great fondness for this woman, who had
entered into my life. We dealt with our individual.
tragedies, in our own way while developing a love for
each other. Companionship at its finest.

Much of what I have written, is true and factual. My father
did own a tavern, The Looking Glass, after WWII. The
story of meeting another woman, has not happened, as
I am still, deep within the grieving process, after the loss
of my wife on December 24, 2023. Time will help but never
replace the love I lost. Thank you for your patience in
reading this unstructured, spontaneous story.

My mind is deranged.
It's all that I've got.
What's the matter with me?
My emotions are wrought.

I feel desperate for love,
a love which I can't get.
I need to go away before
my respect is Nyet.

I have no right
to think like I do.
I only know,
I am attracted to you.

I'm sick with myself,
for thoughts lain,
deeply rooted within,
my sick brain.

The best thing to
do right now is to
keep our distance.
I wish I knew how.

What a nightmare
my stupidity must be.
You should cut and run
setting yourself free.