Magazine Posts

A brain drain,
there's no pain,
nothing will remain,
no verbal stain,
nothingness will reign

I am becoming
more emotional.
A simple thought
about my wife,
moistens my eyes.
A lonely tear,
courses down
my cheek.
Why is that?
Am I so weak,
I can't control
a simple emotion?
Yet when a
simple thought,
touches this old brain,
it turns to sadness.

I enjoyed your laughter.
I enjoyed your smile.
I will enjoy your company,
for a long, long while.

Ice cold the heart
of hatred springs
causing more pain
than necessary.

I try to put
the words to paper
as music plays
in the background.
Hard to focus on
the task at hand,
when the background
music lyrics,
staccato beat from
Bruce Springsteen,
is ringing in your ears.
Need to reload.

I wrest the pain
from within my heart,
a collection of
personal failures.

A pain of witness,
watching my wife's
mental acuity,
in a slow decline
from Dementia
to Alzheimer's.

Disappointment appears
in her eyes,
when she tries
and realizes,
she can no longer
do most of her
daily routine.

I see the cracks
in the facade
of my true
loves face,
as her temperament
becomes more aggressive
towards anything,
especially me. She still
wants to be near me.
She doesn't know my name
and even "my husband" has
been scarce.

I await
my fall
from grace.
I'll be brave
as I can be,
for I am,
a careless man.
I know not
what fate
will come.
To live
or succumb
to those
who hate.
I'll await
this time
in solitude,
searching for
different scenes.
No more!
No mas!
Here I stay,
not to remember
but to
stay away.

I look into
the eyes of
my beloved wife.
She is upset about
something, but cannot
tell me, .what it is.
If something goes,
awry, she will not
admit it, instead
will say "It wasn't me."
Words said, over and over again.
Never was this way,
prior to being diagnosed
with Early Onset Dementia,
in January 2017.

No matter where,
no matter when,
I will soon,
see you again.