Magazine Posts

Where goeth thou?
Is there a rule,
which can prevent me
from being an old fool?

Early in the morning,
before the sunrise,
I milked our cow,
separated the milk
from the heavy cream,
using a hand cranked,
milk separator.
Placed it in the refrigerator,
our personal rule.
Ate my breakfast
and headed off to school.

My beloved left our room.
We were watching football.
Apparently, I fell asleep,
and then she went out the door.
An attendant found her,
wandering the hall,
looking for her husband.
That's me.
She told me, "I was afraid,
as I didn't know where you were."
We were sitting next to each other,
later and I asked why she left.
She said, "I didn't know who you
were." The working of a mind
under attack from Dementia-Alzheimer
is an assault no one should have to
deal with Patient or Care giver.

Where ae you,
sweet Barbara?
Where have you gone?
You were from Chicago,
a long time ago.
You taught in London,
teaching English Composition.
You said your husband was
an artist. You spoke German
when we first met.
I enjoyed our conversations,
at dinner, with my wife.
You were a lovely person,
with a sharp wit. I will never
forget our conversations.
You are gone from the residence
but I will never forget our conversations.

Here I sit alone,
thoughts getting hazy.
I am in the room,
where I'm borderline crazy.

Conversations surround me,
mostly short and inane,
causing me to ask,
"Am I now going insane?"

So many days and nights
running together, all week.
Certainly not the place
for the mentally weak.

I awake and
find you gone.
Know not where,
now I'm alone.

Alone is not what
I want to be.
I simply need
you here with me.

Rain has fallen,
all around,
wetting leaves,
wetting ground.

A simple verse,
nice to hear,
especially now,
when you're near.

You are my light,
who I adore.
I love you so,
you love me more.

Withdraw the sword
from your sheath,
removing the source
of your old grief.

Hold on to the love,
which you once had,
be strong now,
don't be sad.

I currently reside with my wife at a facility
for Memory Care. She has advanced Alzheimer
Disease.
This was a new event for me.
My beloved doesn't like certain foods and sometime
they are served in this "mess hall" type of food
distribution for meals.
My first task after she is served is to remove those
food items which I know she won't eat.
I was doing this, with the pickled beets placed
upon her plate. A older gentleman, I will call him
that although he is usually not, came to our table
and said, "Why are you stealing this woman's food?"
I replied with, "It's none of your business, please
leave." He started to lunge at me with a clenched
fist but was restrained by the staff who saw him
on the move, from several tables away.
I just sat there and told him this was my wife.
Just another day in a place where most of the
residents are dealing with memory issues.
Those residents who I talk with during the day
are kind, considerate but have loss of memory
issues. All is well in Memory Care Land.

Good night, my sweet one.
Good night my love.
God will protect you.
God is always above.

Sweet the memories,
long, gone by,
into the sunset.
I will not cry.

Pain and suffering,
was my dread.
She's all I see,
in my head.

Soon I will move
to another room.
I'm now afraid
of impending gloom.

Will I recover,
soon and well?
I'm on a journey
into mental Hell.

You were my love,
'twas always to be.
You're still my love
but you don't know me.