Magazine Posts

I saw you,
my emotions soared.
It was then, I noticed
my heart roared.

I see you
and the state you're in.
Remembering all the fun we had,
when standing in the summer wind.

My love for you, is then.
I see your brown eyes
flashing smile, remembering
the good and bad time cries.

Worried thoughts,
spin through my head.
My mental status is now
full, complete with dread.

I sat with my wife yesterday,
She slept most of the time.
Must be the Morphine, now,
as I await her slow decline.

Oh, how I hate this,
dreaded time of life.
when I am unable to
hold, my lovely wife.

From out the time
of our days gone by,
now it is this,
a time to cry.

Wherefore has God allowed,
the end of life,
to be a painful time,
full of heartache and strife.

I sit alone, in darkened room,
thoughts a twirl.
Sadness permeates my soul,
in contemplation of discussing,
In Home Hospice, for my lovely
wife of 66 years plus.

My eyes are moist, but not,
outward, by crying.
My emotions are taking over.
I'm tired, exhausted and
saddened by the decision.
I'm about to make.
Not what I wanted to happen,
as Hospice comes with a
sense of finality, in my mind.

It is what is best for her, to
allow healing of open bed sores,
on both hips.
I apologize for burdening you,
with my feelings.
Love to all of you and for all
who are dealing with their
own burdens.

My orbit, once stable,
is slipping towards,
oblivion, the sweet
sound of lost dreams.

One life is ending,
one life, lies undirected,
sliding into lost
memories of oblivion.

I wrest my feelings
of memories, with thee,
from out my heart,
so unfortunately.

Life's dreams
of us together,
are now gone,
briefly like the weather.

Thoughts invade,
my aging brain.
Same as before,
I missed the train.

Yesterday, August 4th,
I signed papers,
to admit my wife,
into Home Hospice.

I am unable to explain,
my sadness, at this moment,
nor shall I try as,
my emotions are spent.

Today I signed documents requesting my wife to be admitted
to Home Hospice. She qualified and was accepted into the program.
I was reluctant to do this but after talking with the medical representatives
from Evergreen, I agreed to do this to heal open bed sores.
I believe I will receive good and more attentive care in this relationship.

I hope I will be able to continue to write about other happier days as I find this
venue to be of great therapeutic value to me.
Thank you all for looking at my writings. I always welcome responses, if you desire.

I went on active duty, in the Navy,
in October 1954. I was 19 years old,
a small-town boy looking to get away,
in search of adventure.

Inducted in Seattle, physical, inoculations,
while only wearing your socks, shoes and
of course, holding a clipboard, with your
records. The issue of being unclothed,
naked soon passed.

We stayed a few nights in Naval Barracks,
in Seattle. The next day we caught a Naval
Air, transport, flying from Whidbey Island
Naval Air Station, to Moffett Field, in California.
I believe it was just outside of San Francisco.
It was on a Saturday.

Being young, away from home, we pooled our
resources and took a Cab into San Francisco.
We were able to buy a bottle from the driver.
Our destination, "Coffee Dan's" which was a
bottle club or bring your own bottle and buy,
the mix of your choice.

We spent several hours there and returned to
base as we had a scheduled flight from Moffett,
to North Island Naval Air Station, in San Diego.

I had transportation to a dock where there was
a water taxi. It took me to my new home,
the USS Marsh, DE699. I was deposited to a
temporary bunk in the forward mess hall,
until the next when I was assigned to my
permanent bunk, below deck, in the fantail,
next to the laundry. This would be my home,
for the next two years.

When the life you share,
for many a year,
is disrupted by illness,
ongoing fear

of losing your wife,
to a terrible disease,
finding the change
a failed breeze.

I love I have,
for her today,
will still remain.
For this I pray.

What cost is love,
when you cry,
from the hurt,
you only sigh.

What great loss,
what will it be,
when I look
and cannot, see?