Magazine Posts

I love this life, I lead,
said no one in memory care.
Life is not sublime. You have
minimal alone time and you
are sleep deprived.
Your friends and family tell you
to take a break and you find
it is difficult to do, because
of your own guilt of not being
there. To top it off, the facility
administrator, told me I needed
that to protect my own health.
Going to do it this Saturday.

Open the book of goodness,
of memories still retained.
You will find your blessing,
of life's enjoyment gained.

Draw upon the words you see,
reading them every day,
before the saddest of disease,
robs you, taking them away.

I'm going to try
changing my ways.
Life is too short,
not enough days.

Another evening
with words fraught,
"Do you love me?
or do you not?

How delicate must
her life now be,
when she says,
"You don't like me."

For life's assurances,
it is her crying word.
I say, "I love you,"
she knows I've heard.

I am sadness,
come with me
to the shore
of your sadness sea.

Long the night,
in bed at 9.
Short the sleep,
when arising at 4.
Empty the feeling
when she's not in bed
but is sleeping, fully clothed,
on the sofa instead.
I'm know of the problem,
being very aware,
but sometimes I wish
I was now, elsewhere.

What is a thought?
What is a notion,
but an idea or
a strong emotion.

I know the words,
sound like a song.
I'll keep on writing,
as I move along.

Words can be pliant,
as some people you see.
Not speaking of you,
just thinking of me.

Anyone can be bent
and follow a sign,
but some become warped
becoming bigoted and blind.

Up early, before dawn,
doing my best
to stifle a yawn.
With sleep filled eyes,
I read the news,
but to be honest,
I wish I could snooze.
Resting these eyes,
there's nothing to lose,
before I have a nap,
if that's what I choose.

It's funny how thoughts pop into your head.
My grandparents retired from the railroad.
My father and I both worked there for a short time.
Our family home, when in high school, was close
to the railroad tracks.
I would use the RR tracks for a path to go hunting
and fishing.
I recall, when walking down the hall at the memory
care unit, where both my wife and I now reside.
My beloved is in early or mid-Alzheimer and walks with
a short, choppy walk. I found myself walking in a similar
shuffle and it brought to mind my youthful days walking
the tracks. Walking on the ties required two small steps
the one long step and repeat. Or you could tread on every
tie, which wasn't ideal. It's funny about recollection and
what can trigger the thought.
Thank you for your patience and support over the years
as I scribbled out my thoughts and little odes.

Lonesome the heart,
when you are afraid,
all of your loved ones,'
have left. Gone away.
Helpless the feelings,
when you have no control
or if you couldn't say,
how a new friendship,
could change your today.

No matter what
happens in this life,
I am content to have had
this much time with my wife.

Where do I go,
when it is over here?
What will I do
when I no longer have you?