Magazine Posts

Against the wind,
a song by Bob Segar.
Dealing with changes
as we mature.
In many ways, I feel
I am going "Against
the Wind" as I travail
the battle of dealing
with my wife's Dementia
Alzheimer disease.
Once a beautiful person,
with quick wit, personality
and very intelligent.
She now has difficulty in
conversations, as she attempts
to communicate with me.
No short-term memory.
Long term memory, for
the most part is not there.
She does not know the
name of any articles, from
cup to remote. Does not
know where the bathroom is,
let alone what to do. Yet,
she will tell me how much
she loves me and how she
needs to be near me, all
of the time.
What a lonely existence it
must be where she is, today.
She calls me her husband,
Daddy or her man, but does
not know my name.
I'm ok with that as the love
she professes is soothing to me.
I have been living with her
in a Memory Care facility
and am about to move out,
so, I can get some sleep.
What will that do to her?
I don't know but I know
I need sleep if I am to be
with her.

Will you love me tomorrow,
as you did yesterday?
Should I keep moving,
or simply go away?

Why has God let you
leave me alone this way?
It is hard for me to believe
this is God's way.

Stop!
She yelled.
I worry about her,
every day.
This morning she asked
me to leave.
Well, asking isn't correct,
she told me to "Get out!"
"You don't belong here,
anymore."
She didn't recall any of
that dramatic moment,
later in the morning.
Bizarre behavior on a
cyclical basis seems
to be where this ride
is going.
Time for me to get a
separate unit, so I
can get some sleep.

I was standing watch,
on board our ship,
in Yokosuka Bay, in February,
on the forward deck
of our ship, DE699, the
USS Marsh.
The cold was bitter,
with a light breeze.
The air cut through
my heavy, wool, pea coat.
I toured the bow to make
sure no one was attempting
to board us, in this foreign
country.
I would step inside the hatch
to the passageway, to avoid the
wind and the chill as I was on
a 4-hour duty station.
I can still feel the chill when I
think back on that day

Assassins of the night,
set forth on their journey,
late the day, a 'fore twilight,
to destroy another memory.

Long had the sunset,
it was nearing dawn,
the sleepiest of time,
stifling a yawn.

Slowly they crept
into her mind,
erasing memories,
time after time.

Minor details,
long time too,
what in the world
can we now do?

The wind was blowing,
rain sideways.
Too much rain
for an umbrella,
unless it was a
very large, golf size.
You could cower
behind a big one,
without it turning
inside out.
I don't mind
playing at golf,
if there is light rain
or some wind.
I don't like
playing at golf,
if both are present.

My heart is warm,
My soul is cold.
My love for you.
Will never be old.

Happy Halloween.
A celebration of
The Day of the Dead,
when young children,
costume adorned,
brave their fears,
approaching a door,
saying, "Trick or Treat?"
Remembering the ritual,
from so long ago,
being in costume,
a one-night show.

Though I walk through the shadows
of the Valley of Death,
those things in life are dear,
for walking this uncertain life,
the shadow of Death is always near.

My life is in shambles
I cannot think
of words to write.
I'm on the brink
of losing my way.
I must leave
and go away.
Perhaps for a week,
a month or a day,
I need to move,
I cannot stay.

When I am old
and can no longer roam,
will you place me
in a family home?

Time to move on,
I have been told.
Being in memory care,
has gotten quite old.

I need to separate
from my beloved,
as she moves further
into Dementia-Alzheimer.