Contributor Posts

A place that I worked
was a large room full
of cubicles.
I managed a Customer
Service function,
in a Manufacturing Company.
I would keep a large jar,
of plain M & M's, it had
a glass lid.
Many times when I left my cube
I would hear the glass lid rattle.
Looking back, I would see
a co-worker looking back at me.

A glorious day; it was in the Spring.
Grabbing my fishing pole, I then went
out to the forest, to do my thing.
Walked to the creek from my parked car,
it was close to the road, not very far.
I fished from the bank, perhaps for a mile.
It was a beautiful scene, not seen in awhile.
I climbed on a log, laying over the stream,
espied some movement, back on the shore,
when a Momma Black Bear, came into view.
She had a cub, trailing her now.
For some reason, I'm still not sure why,
I opened my mouth to say hi.
A short, woof, woof, is what I said
and Mom stood up, looking all around.
I didn't move, making nary a sound.
I decided it was best, and pretended to be
a small picture that looked like a tree.
Fortunately, I was upwind,
so no scent she would get.
The Bear and cub moved on
and then it was me,
seeing a Bear that was looking for me.

How can you pine for someone,
when a Pine is a tree?

Oh me, oh my, this is swell
as my old body is on a slow ride
straight to Hell.

The Crocodile was on a log,
right next to me.
It was wearing purple socks,
quite easy to see.
I said something,
perhaps just a word,
when I saw a color,
a very bright flash
and realized the Croc
had on a purple sash.
I was taken aback,
by the splendid dress,
when I realized my clothes
were a rumpled old mess.
I noticed it was eating some food,
red beans and rice,
not with a spoon or a fork,
like you and I would.
I was starving and hungry
and said with a flair,
"would you mind sharing
your wonderful fare?"
Sure it said, with a grin
just very simply
put your hand in.
I looked at my hand
saying with a small voice,
"are there other options,
or is that my only choice?"
The Crocodile rolled off of the log,
into the slimy green deep,
as I struggled to awaken
from my deep Winter sleep.

A friend of mine
made some wine.
Aging it for later
he filled his refrigerator.
The wine wasn't cold
so he was bold
and called a repair service.
The Tech walked in,
did a visual spin,
opened the door,
removed a bottle
and placed on the floor.
A bottle blocked the vent.
A $75 dollar payment,
is what you owe,
now I must go.
Ka ching, ka ching,
A winemakers thing.

I need a reel,
tied to a thread,
that's hooked to those words
locked in my head.
A reel that makes nary a sound,
pulling the words, trite and profound
from the depth of my mind,
out to paper at hand,
helping me write, on demand.

A 36 waist,
A 32 rear,
Is not a good feeling
But something to fear.
Tighten the belt
Around your waist
Or your pant's
Will fall down
And could end up
On the ground,
Baring your derriere.

www.adriennehedger.com
www.facebook.com/HedgerHumor

I was you, long before
you entered the World.
I am older; wiser I am not
but more experience,
in these Worldly matters,
as I have lived them.
You have not.

It was 4 AM. The sound was loud,
as if a door had been slammed.
My first thoughts were, "Someone's
in the house" but no more noise
was heard.
Then I realized, it was the paper
delivery person, throwing the paper
at the garage door.
I had complained several times about
the Times being delivered wet, when
left in the middle of the driveway,
when raining. Our driveway slopes
from the house to the street and
if the paper is in the driveway, it gets
wet.
I like the paper dry so I don't have to
drive to the store for a replacement.
I had asked for the delivery to be placed
next to the garage door.
My request was realized.

Comes the Gander
with his gaggle
of strutting Geese.

From the barnyard,
across the pasture
to waters edge.

Pausing at muddy slope
allowing all to pass,
watching, ever watching,
alert to danger's sign ;.

Into the water
all tuned in,
to feed in reeds
and cattail rushes.