Magazine Posts

Give me a number
which is in your head,
and I will write
somethng different, instead
of the usual stuff.
It may be smooth but
it also may be rough.
Something new for me
if you will play,
this foolish game with me.

I was a runner,
many years ago,
then I was a jogger,
not a run, just slow.
Than I became a walker,
in my "Running" shoes,
for I'm walking for health,
I have weight I can lose.
I no longer walk,
just go up and down stairs.
It's better than nothing,
of that I am aware.

Let's tell the others,
we are Lovers
and watch the
tounge speak to the ears,
while we are laughing
those large "crocodile tears."

Don't worry about me,
words which once said
will bring forth,
the opposite instead.
I worry about you,
what else can I say?
Thank you for caring.
Have a good day?

Must I way
or simply weigh?
Must I wait
or add on weight?
Can I pound a stake
or pound a steak
to tenderize.
Interesting questions
so I now surmize,
I may not be back.
Now, that's a surprise.

Without the wind,
to hold me in place,
I wouldn't have fallen,
flat on my face.
My face may have
liked it's new version,
performed by cements
original dermabrasion.
What say you,
who saw me stumble
into a new dance,
while ripping the knees
of my brand new pants?

I was in Germany
and ordered a frank in a bun
with some bier, in a stein.
Does that mean
I ordered a Frankinstein?

Where is the noise?
Where is the fury,
when we hear the wind
in a big hurry?
No thunder; no lightning,
as you continually said.
Why? Did you guess wrong
once more?

Brown is the color
of my true love's eyes.
Eyes, which follow
my every move,
with a sadness or looking away,
when I am gone.
I know not what to say.
Returning home, I'm greeted with love,
a licking of my hand.
My hand gives a head rub.
You are so handsome, I say to he,
for you are my friend,
in this life of uncertainty.

Sticks and cloth,
high up in the tree,
the remains of a kite
is what I see.

My mama told me, way more than a few times: Go to College. The first time she told me that was after a buddy and myself made a deal with our neighbor to pull two of his stumps, I think for $10 a stump. Not being professional stump pullers – actually these were our first stump jobs – we had no idea how long it might take to dig around an old maple tree, whack off its roots with axes and hatchets, put a come-a-long on the thing and haul it out. Like pulling a giant tooth, how hard could it be?

Two days later, blisters on both our hands, we finally disgorged the monster stump. Nothing to it! Course, we had the other one to do and now we knew – and dreaded – the work ahead of us. But a contract was a contract, a handshake a handshake, even for us 15 year olds. So much for our summer vacation. Our neighbor gave us each 10 bucks and no tip, no bonus, no thank you. Four days of hard labor. My mother, on the other hand, had a tip waiting for me at home.

“What do you think you made an hour?” she wanted to know. “Not much,” I said, pretty bummed and very tired. I figured a quarter an hour. And yeah, don’t say it, I know a quarter was worth more in 1965.

My mom asked if I had any idea how much my father made an hour. Actually, I didn’t, not a clue, but I hazarded ‘fifty cents?” Mom, well, let’s just say she didn’t have the greatest sense of humor, especially not wise-ass son humor, so she cut right to her Lesson of the Day, told me he made 50 times what I just made, all because – and here was the crux – He Went to College.

Now, I didn’t tell her I’d eventually have my own stump removal company, hire a hundred kids to pull them, franchise the whole she-bang and become a millionaire when the stock went public. I just put my head down and said. “I got it Mom.” I did go to college but ended up working stump pulling wages at various dead end jobs before becoming a starving artist.

Today I was at an oral surgeon seeing about yanking a tooth too far gone for a root canal and crown. My doc came in, said hello, snapped on some blue exam gloves, looked in my pie hole and said make an appointment at the desk for an extraction while you’re paying for this exam. At most, 5 minutes. The bill came to $100. If you’re as expert at math as me, a college graduate, that comes to $1200 an hour.

So okay, Mom, happy now??

See more by Skeeter Daddle 

"… is something I know nothing about. Nevertheless, I can’t count the number of times people come up to me on the street, at the unemployment office or in the women’s locker room at my gym and ask me about my column. Why just last week, there must have been almost two people who approached me..... Continue reading