Magazine Posts

Back in the hospital again,
where the bedpans my best friend.
Where the Nurses are cute
and much too young for you.

Sorry you all. Limited resource
and lacking talent. What's old
guy to do.
Home tomorrow to bore you again.

I was alone, at night,
when reality came to stay.
You only have a few months left,
before I go away.

My Stoic manner, crumbled,
it had developed a crack.
My confidence in fighting this disease,
took a huge step back.

You must stay strong,
to fight this, is what my mind did say.
Stay positive on the morrow,
it will be better in the light of day.

I put on a good front,
when I see those, I know,
but I will tell you at times,
my mind really won't let go.

The talk of War with China,
with the involvement of the respective
Navy of China and the USA. Still an
issue as we rattle our sabers.
Ships similar to the one I served on
will be in the forefront, if there is indeed
a Naval Engagement, with China.
I sincerely hope that doesn't happen.

My mind has gone,
short to ground,
random thoughts,
are not around.

Is it a lifes
lesson I have found,
or just an observation,
which maybe unsound?

Reality stepped up,
slapping me in the face,
when I realized, I'd gone
into a different place.

Given a prognosis,
of months to live,
begs the question,
what else can I give?

Been told
3 to 4 months left.
When I think of that,
maybe someone is bereft,

not because of fear,
because I feel so good.
What will happen,
perhaps I will be understood.

Will there be a time,
when you will talk to me?
I would like to help,
that may never be.

I'm not Psychic,
and I won't guess.
You need to tell me,
I can do the rest.

You have become,
very important to me,
for your like a daughter,
who I now see.

Please talk to me,
for you will see,
a better story
especially for thee,

Thinking about,
this life I have led,
I pause, and ask,
"What's wrong with your head?"

I've had a great time,
with kids and a wife,
so why are you worried,
you've had a great life?

Sometimes a question,
should be asked, especially,
during times of loneliness.
If only an hour, or a day,
helps to keep boredom away

Years ago,
on a tropical Isle,
we would swim and snorkel.
all of the while.

A cruise, courtesy of
my Uncle Sam.
We worked and played hard,
like Popeye the Sailor, I yam.

At one time in my life,
I was asking my granddaughter to,
quit riding the exercise bike, from the front.
I asked several times. She turned, placing her
hands on her hips and said, "Grandpa, I Quit you."

It was hard not to laugh.
Now I say to her,
"Don't quit on grandpa"
stay with me, when you can,
for without you,
I am just an ordinary man.

Too many lies,
I've heard you say.
Leave me alone,
please go away.

You need to step up.
Act like a man.
Wipe away your tears.
Start anew, you can.

You're hard to be around,
with negative ways,
of reliving a life,
which is gone away.

You must start again.
Starting it now.
It will be hard but,
please make a vow.

Once upon a time
there was a man,
who thought he would,
live forever.

Forever, is not quantifiable,
therefore, it was not ad infinitum.
What once was a lifetime,
becomes short when you are told,
you have three to four months to live.

A hard reality, yet it now is my destiny
to fight this Stage 4, Pancreatic cancer,
with all means, positive attitude, support
and most importantly, not tire and quit.
I will not go gently into the good night.