Magazine Posts

I haven't given up.
I'll fight. Won't pretend,
but at this point, in time,
my life is still going to end.

What a glorious time.
A time for the story to end.
Finishing this life's journey.
A life I do not have to pretend

When all of the roses,
have fallen from the branch,
is the time when my values,
should look at romance.

Romance for another,
in these remaining days?
What kind of life would that be,
when the days run out of rays?

Seeping from
the corner of my mind,
of nothing good,
almost all of it benign.

Where are the thoughts,
of the yesterdays?
Have they disappeared,
and gone away?

I wish I knew,
the answer to,
perhaps, then, I
would know what to do.

I hope I'm not, going through,
this, "Woe is me" period", now.
It's not healthy, this I know,
but it's still difficult, so how,

do I connect this feeling,
which has a grip on me,
when I see no promise,
of what I might be?

I see myself,
wanting to return,
to the days when,
I was an introvert.

Have I been in this
life too many years?
Have I developed a feeling,
with innate fears?

Fear of not being loved,
by others, my friends.
Do I need to apologize
and make amends,

for being a person,
a personality facade.
Don't care to read about
that big fraud.

What happens when,
the life you led,
goes from routine,
to a hidden dread?

I've accepted the life,
God has set for me
and know at any moment,
I may cease to be.

A father, a grandpa,
or just simply me.
I'm ok with what happens,
if my soul needs to flee.

Do I like it?
Of course not, who would,
but I must deal with it.
My role is understood.

I will enjoy, my special place,
in this, my current life,
but realize it may be soon,
when I see my lovely wife.

I never asked you to love me.
It was never part of the deal.
All I asked was to be friends.
To me it was the best appeal.

Now, I find myself, very confused,
because you never answer me.
No communication, brings sadness,
for now, I no longer can see,

staying as your friend,
if you won't talk to me.
What's the point, in this life,
if you're a friend, I never, see?

Is it hard to understand,
my love for you, as Lolo?
It's a role I feel comfortable in.
Can't we talk? Should I just go?

If you would like me to,
I will just go away.
You make the choice.
I can go or I can stay.

You were the best thing that had happened to me, in a long time.
How do I describe this without sending you running away?
You and only you have provided me with the support I
needed, during the worst time in my life. You care.

I know there is nothing I can say or do to help you during
this process. I do know, I value our friendship, more than
at any time in this short life.
I love you and wish you well, while continuing on my
journey to Perdition.

When love returns, to you again,
you will know, don't pretend,
to understand, why this occurs.
It happens, that's for sure.

I miss you so,
my lovely wife.
You were always the,
strength in my life.

An early valentine,
was my wife.
Apparently, she saw
something good in me.

She would urge me on,
through good and bad.
the best support,
I had ever had.

A precious moment as I recall the passing of my beloved.