Magazine Posts

If I see you naught,
it's ok with me.
You promised
through thick and thin,
to stay by me.
I was dropped
like a hot potato.
Over a year has gone by,
without an explanation.
I won't cry about your
melodramatics.

If my memory serves me correctly,
as it usually does,
are you OK, if I remain,
with my feelings, because?

Warm the Sun
on the back of my neck.
Heat which I needed
for I'm an emotional wreck.

Moments of remembrances
the events which I miss.
All of the hugging,
but especially a kiss.

Fast cars
and fast women
were never in my
vocabulary. Not now, not then.

I loved cars,
liking to drive fast.
Gas was cheap, but
tires wouldn't last.

This soul is lost,
he will survive
the mental challenges,
if he is to stay alive.

Many thoughts,
have turned to dust,
while his emotions,
are starting to rust.

So, what's the story,
here and now?
I must stay with her,
for I made a vow.

Moonlight beamed
off my brow.
I was still trying,
to determine how,

I had become,
entrapped here,
with few friends,
but family near.

I realized,
much too late,
my lovely wife,
my lifelong mate,

was no longer
close to see,
but one floor,
below me.

It's been a year,
the 28th of November.
No lying-in bed, no hugs,
all so hard to remember.

Love or hate
is what it will be.
When I love
it will always be thee.

When days are gone,
You are too.
I'm unsure of what
I should do.

You profess your love,
almost every day.
I love you too,
nothing else to say.

I can't recall, anytime
in this life of mine,
where my emotions, with others,
became complex and entwined.

But here I sit with heart a beat.
I do not like to receive a scold.
Not saying thank you when you
ask me to buy things, it is old.

Here I sit,
in early morning hour,
trying to write words,
for a life gone sour.

Why do things
go wrong for someone good?
I sit and ponder about my wife's
last 10 years, as I should.

Diagnosed with Lung Cancer
in the last part of 2013,
successful treatment, in 2014.
Now she is deemed clean.

No one will say she is cancer free.
They test every year. "In remission."
The words I hear bother me. Then
Early onset dementia. A new Mission.

So I sit here. She is in Memory Care,
with a diagnosis of Dementia-Alzheimer.
What did she do to deserve
ten years of declining health for her?

Sitting, as I visit,
watching my wife sleep.
Most of the time this happens,
a lost feeling, running too deep.

Another morning
of active threats.
"I'll whack you
with no regrets."

A lovely time?
It certainly is.
Awakening your love,
is your morning Biz.

She sleeps more
then I will say.
Unfortunately for me
it shortens the day.