Magazine Posts

I hope you understand
what goes through my brain,
when I am schizophrenic
and borderline insane.

I must be a coward,
to hang on too long
and take her to a place,
where she should belong.

Last night, as I,
sat on our bed,
my wife sat next to
me and said,
"I'm so happy I found you
and I love you so,
please do not leave me.
Please do not go."

I don't know.
It's been awhile,
since the time
I made you smile.

Forget me now,
just let me be,
I'm no good for myself,
let alone for thee.

I do understand
what you said;
It's not an option,
for the life we led.

I hear the rain,
rattle the window,
as I explain,
I'm happy to be inside;
safe and out of the rain.

A fence line,
a straight line for most,
interrupted at times
with a fence post.
Barbed wire is tricky,
stretching, it tight,
attaching with wire
to steel fence post,
stuck in the ground.
Steel post are pounded
into the earth.
No hole digging,
in rocky ground.
The fence is completed
many feel it should
be electrified?
What do you think?

Forever is the morning.
Forever is the day,
where I will be
to greet you then,
welcoming you to see,
the beauty which lies within,
the innermost soul of thee.

Pray to the Lord.
Prey on the land,
the choice is yours.
Yours to command.
Be you a good person,
as I know you are.
You were the one,
so much stronger than me
and I will carry my love
to the end of eternity,
and yet, when we're gone,
will we be in someone's memory?

Don't go soft on me,
with all our resolve,
to avoid talking to me
about a problem to solve.
You run from the truth.
You know what to do.
Place her in Memory Care.
Tell her, I Love You.

There are thoughts thrashing
around in my head,
scratching and clawing;
trying to get out
through the tips of my finger,
and movement of my hand.
Trying to reach the writer,
most literal, to understand,
what is happening to his mind,
at this time of his life,
with his life's company
a sick, Dementia laden, wife.