Magazine Posts

You don't know,
the path I'm on.
Please don't judge me
after I am gone.

Those days are gone,
they will be no more,
as words of ruination,
lay strewn in piles
around the desk.

What choices you make,
in life's daily scene,
affects many others,
know what I mean?
Love is very fragile,
but it can survive
when provided by those
who are similarly inclined.
Join hand with others,
if you want to adjust,
while trust in another,
who feels as they must.

It's difficult to write
words to a page,
when the sadness
of tears-soaked paper,
is your medium of choice.

Sell most of your possessions.
Sell the home where you stay.
The physical possessions
will soon go away,
as memories exist
but only for a few.

I am asleep.
In my head
are thoughts, now,
believing I am dead.

What thoughts, these,
rising in the morning.
A Spring breeze
coming to warn me,
must I soon appease,
a checkered past?
Dropping to my knees,
my prayers are for the past.

Day after day.
Night after night,
I'm unsure, if it's
wrong or right.

It's been over a month,
since you moved away.
I'm awake; you're not
lying next to me.
A funny feeling overcomes
the emptiness I feel.

Anguish, lies
deep in my Soul.
A self-hatred
of the action
I took to
relieve the pressure,
placed on myself.

A purveyor of darkness,
is with me today.
It haunts me at night,
as I need to say,
"I'm sorry, forgive me"
I don't like us living this way.

I sit here
alone, without you,
in our home
of many years.
You have gone
to a memory care
facility, to be
attended to.
I have visited
every day,
except the lockdown,
when the facility
was closed, due to
a Covid, positive result.
Every day,
when I see you,
I'm asked, "are you my husband?"
and you say, "I haven't seen you
in a long time."
Yet, you cried when I
told you Good Night,
when I left,
at 9 PM.
My emotions are raw.
My guilt, I feel,
as this part of life
is torture and pain,
no matter how I
try to rationalize.
Forgive me please.

When I reflect upon my life,
there are no regrets,
except for one.
What can I learn
from my history, past,
of the lost memories,
of my first love?
Life is over,
in one blink of the eye
and all you knew
of loving thoughts made
are gone, now missing
and will not return.