Magazine Posts

An emotional wreck,
I have become,
for I weep silently,
as I know what's to come.
A slow decline
and memory fades,
the eroding Dementia
is here, every day.

I stare at your pillow,
where your face, use to be,
It's empty! You're not there,
then I awake, I see you again.
I do not like this dream,
not one bit for it tells me
how close we may be to
the end of our dreams.

I have developed a liking
for Asian melodramas, Japanese,
Korean, Chinese and Taiwanese.
They provide an escape from my
worries of my wife's slow slide
from Dementia into Alzheimer's.
They are beneficial during the hours
I am unable to sleep.
A sucker for these stories that involve,
a women and man with involvement or
competition from others. I have also,
adapted to the subtitles in English with
the melodic narrative of the foreign language.
My story, my escape.

I write words
about words
and how they
interact or play
against one another.

As an example:
Alone in a crowd.
quiet but loud
was the noise
with the boys.
Insanity is just
a small step into
the inane. Did I
mean insane?
No inane, simply
stupid.
Long may he live
long may he wander
trying to find his
place in the Sun.
Did he ever start,
did he decide,
He couldn't be fast
on a slow ride.
Sorry just trying
to clean the cobwebs
from this brain as it
approaches senility.

You broke through the day.
You turned off the light.
I didn't realize,
you wanted to fight.
Your hurtful words
will affect me, not.
You are lost,
in your reverie,
so don't find fault
and try to blame me.

Dark clouds creep
into my mind.
Depression or
something unkind?
I fret and worry,
every, single day.
My wife's behavior
started to fray.
More aggressive
on this quiet day.
Knowing not what
to do or say,
my recourse is
hope and pray.

He was described
as someone,'
who was everywhere.
His manner was kind,
all seeing and knowing,
truly a ubiquitous man.

The Demons of life,
surround us.
Providing untruths,
because of anger.
What happened
to "I'll always
be there to
support you."?
Character assassination,
with threats without
the benefit of
an explanation
for a poor
choice of words.
My way or the
highway, approach
is totally inadequate
to the error.
Childish behavior
is not needed by
anyone; friend
or enemy.

I'll find you on the morrow,
No matter where you may be.
For your love is my strength
as is my love for thee.

The heat from our love
forged a trust in my heart.
The strength is still here,
but not the memory part.
Daily I worry about
our life yet to be.
I miss this fine woman,
who I'll simply call She.

I lack the courage
to handle life's burden
of failing health,
for a loved one.
How do you respond
to a question, "Do you
have any children?"
We have two.
"Where do you live?"
I live here with you,
is my reply.
When a statement is
made when speaking
of the loss of one's
parents, "My husband
is gone," yet I, her
husband, am sitting next
to her. There is no
malice, no intention to
hurt. Just a statement of
her mind's thoughts.
I am growing resentful
of this life and the
cruelty to others
I see, while living
in this memory
care facility.

A dark shadow
is on my heart
as this life's journey
has unraveled,
now torn apart.
Why?
Isn't the loss
of a mind
important today?
Must all who
suffer, end
life this way?
There is no
explanation.
Nothing to say
except forgive me
if I run away.