How Selfish am I

How selfish am I,
my wife languishes,
in Memory Care,
and I'm not near her.

I still wrestle with the guilt
of abandonment. It's what,
I feel.
Friends, relatives tell me
I need to take care of myself.
I don't disagree, however, I have
loved and lived with her for 66years.

How do I disengage?
I wish there were a simple
answer. I know there isn't one,
but that does not preclude me
from feeling this way.

Life sucks,
mostly for she.
I'm not living
within any normalcy.