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Words stacked like wood,
inside of this old head.
Words used often,
some words unread.

Old words to use,
such as thee and thou.
For God's sake,
even words like how.

Not words,
more like where and when,
but new words,
when we could begin again.

Words, stacked in piles,
stuck in corner and crack,
when used too often,
will try to fight back.

I use words, often,
and use them still.
I shouldn't use them,
but you know I will.

The thoughts and memories,
which lay with in this aged mind,
have deteriorated to the point,
my mind, is a wasteland, too unkind,

when memories, once in your mind,
disappear for any reason,
it becomes a trying experience,
perhaps, the mind should have a season.

Unfortunately, that isn't the way it works.
A Spring for rediscovery new ideas and
recurring beauty would be great.
Unfortunately, my mind is a desert of sand.

The grieving process for Dementia
and Alzheimer Disease, can stretch
out for years, thus the title of many,
The Long Goodbye.

Now over 10 years of a slow decline,
of a once beautiful, intelligent, person,
who, as some say, "I was lucky to have
her as long as I did. 66+ years.
But it still hurts!

Here I sit, in this morass,
of emotional baggage.
The twist and turns, in this
new life are overpowering me.

Forced into decisions, I don't want.
Playing with my head,
when what was real,
is now certainly dead.

I find myself withdrawing,
from a good life.
I still see family but find
the closeness, starting to wane.
He's the old guy, who is becoming
more work than I need.

I am still polite but do not,
have discussions with
people about changes to the way
I was. Color me pitiful and sad,
as I drag my blanket.


Posted by MFish Profile 05/20/24 at 11:57PM Share Other See more by MFish

When we sit,
unmoving, it is
when the depths
of depression, may
start over again.

When life was casual,
with nothing else to do,
but move alone being
a friend to you.

I was reminded,
by a good friend,
to get out and about,
if I wanted my sadness to end.

Here is an observation of yesterday,
at the Crossroad Mall, in Bellevue.
I noticed several older men, flying solo,
with a faraway look in their eyes.

Alone? Lonely? Why? Looking for companionship,
may be the reason. Few of use want to be alone,
or not have someone to talk to.
I've noticed, for me that it's a bigger issue than
I had thought it was.

I made an escape from the Senior Living facility,
where I reside. I like it there but it's like family,
and the last place I want to be to seek companionship,
is there. Not because of the people but due to the
close proximity of a place, where this little privacy.
Everyone knows what everyone is doing. Not for me,
although I do have many friends there who I love
like siblings. Thank you for reading this short ditty
of life at a late age in life.

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