I don't wish to remember
this month of November
or the things which happened
to me when.

Nuff said.

Hold back the water'
Shore up the dam,
for I am floundering.
I don't know where I am.

The World is a better place,
knowing where you are.
Being close behind me
or off on some faraway shore.

Would you ever, in your life,
think of who I am?
A lonely soul alone,
a solitary man.

I need someone
to help me understand,
and explain to me,
why I am a lonely man.

I realize I am not alone,
when there are others like me,
going through this time of grief,
My empathy is what they see.

The wind blew cold,
across the lake.
Lightly dressed, was I
how much cold could I take?

Wind blows hard,
taking the rain sideways.
Stinging my ears and face.
I will ask for warmer days.

Visiting my wife, in Memory Care.
She said, "You don't belong here."
In her next breath, she said,
"I love you" and began to cry.

How do I respond
to this statement?
Confusion reigns supreme
no matter when, no matter why.

Forlorn the feeling,
indifferent to me,
for no matter the thought,
I no longer can see.

I don't understand,
up to this day,
why the emotional needs,
were here, are gone away.

A quest remains
to secure the grail,
to hand search the land,
without travail.

Search the forest,
inspect the trees,
for someone's hiding,
apparently, with ease.

Outward it splayed,
as if a branch on a tree.
"My goodness," I said,
"it was pointing at me."

What could it be
to cause this alarm?
Was it intended to be good,
or would it bring harm?

Most warning signs,
which come in the night
are intimidating and
may cause you to take flight.

How often must we
or others prepare,
if we don't receive guidance,
when we should be aware?

Facing the wind, bravely,
a strong, little flower,
with stem vibrating,
hour after hour.

Though the wind blew,
gusting with power,
the stem became stronger,
hour after hour.

Forever the moment,
will live in my heart,
for now, I realize
we are living apart.

Will it ever by normal,
will it ever be fair,
to breaking up now,
when I'm full of despair?

My heart is broken,
I'm thinking of you.
My prayers are unanswered,
am I now through?

Love was the answer,
many years ago.
Love is for she,
but she doesn't know.

Alone with my thought,
in a darkened room.
Classical music playing,
I will head home soon.

Thoughts are deep,
worrisome to me.
I'm losing her now,
why can't I see,

my love every day?
Keeping her with little activity,
I know she's aware,
but can't express. No reactivity.